#scheming jason (gremlin) todd

[call-me-strega]

How to Become a Step-Dad: Lore

Edited: 10/16/2023

While I am currently in between writing chapters I thought I’d release a little bit of the lore that will be incorporated in the story or that I think is canon but might not get mentioned since the story is mostly Jason’s perspective.

What’s up with Jason?

So in this au Jason went through basically all his canon backstory and stuff already so that’s established and done with. Some smaller points that may or may not come up are things like his possession of the all-blades, his time on Nanda Parbat, Talia essentially adopting him, or his experience being Catatonic. Speaking of which, I have decided his resurrection came from his righteous anger combining with the ectoplasm in Gotham’s atmosphere, and he is essentially a revenant for the purposes of this story (he’s about a fourth ghost? Or maybe 3/4ths? 3/5ths? Idk yet).

He does already have a reputation in the Infinite Realms as “The Avenger” and “Son/Knight of Gotham” due both to the existence of city spirit Lady Gotham and the ghosts of people who’ve died in Gotham. He actually has a rabid fan club who want him to kill the Joker( if he became a ghost he’d be tried and banished to the nightmare realm).

I am also going to use “the pits are corrupted ectoplasm” trope in the story. However, they’re gonna be corrupted less in the sense of being straight-up poison and more in the sense of eating a weird mushroom with weird side effects (rage, slightly sentient/vocal core, white trauma streak)

As for his relationship with the Bat Family, we’ve moved to a point where everyone’s more or less made up. For Jason and Bruce specifically, they are now more civil. Their relationship is less “ What you’re doing is wrong and you have to stop.” vs “ I’m just doing what you won’t” and now it’s more “ I don’t fully approve of your decisions, but as long as you’re not killing people and coming home for dinner, I don’t care enough to nag you about it” vs “ You’re my dad and I love you. Plus actively killing people is no longer super necessary so I will give in but I still enjoy pissing you off”.

In terms of sibling relationships, Jason has like the cool older brother vibe but he’s actually the semi-responsible one that feeds you when you come over and makes you do homework and sleep properly. He’s still down for shenanigans but is low-key a mom friend. (Dick is not the “responsible one” he is a certified chaos gremlin. Not to say he can’t be responsible, he’s just not the one enforcing these things. He cares more about your social, emotional, and/or, mental state and would help you skip school to steal a penguin or go to ComiCon or smth if you said it was a “mental health day”). I think he has semi-regular hangouts with his siblings on a weekly basis.

I like to think that he and Damien did have a bit of interaction when they were both with the League so they do have a close bond there. He’s definitely apologized to Tim a bunch of times and they’re pretty close now they like scheming together, especially on how to annoy Bruce. Overall he’s largely made up and re-integrated with the family. It’s going to be mentioned later in the story that they resurrected his civilian identity as Jason Todd, so he can publicly be seen with his family and also to do work with the family.

This brings me to my next point of lore: that as Jason gains more control of Crime Alley, he focuses his efforts more into charity work. He’s helping the people get their education, get better access to healthcare, get better job opportunities, running soup kitchens, etc., and doing more humanitarian-focused work. He has got a pretty firm grip on crime and drugs so he’s shifting his focus more towards helping the people now. Even just being part of his gang can be helpful because he works with the Goonion (Goon Union) and offers good insurance plans and stuff. That’s part of the reason they resurrect his civilian identity is so that he can start working with/taking over the Wayne foundation.

What’s up with Danny and Ellie?

Okay so first things first in the story Danny is going to be the ghost prince (not king yet for a long while) and he acts as a junior member on the Council of Ancients who rule with Clockwork acting as his main regent. Meaning that Council + Danny make decisions and Clockwork is Danny’s ghost dad and is formal regent but mostly just handles things with help from the council. Essentially, after at least a couple thousand years Danny will be considered “of age” or eligible and take over the Infinite Realms; and after several billion he’ll become the ancient of space/reality and essentially become a god or primordial being of sorts. Also being of age is different than being an adult ghost. To be an adult ghost you need to have been a ghost for at least 20 years after your lifetime, unless you’re an eternal kid ghost like Youngblood or BoxLunch. So ghosts like Technus, the Box Ghost, and Lunch Lady are all adult ghosts. Whereas ghosts like Johnny 13, Kitty and maybe Ember either aren’t yet adult ghosts or became adult ghosts recently. Ellie ranks as princess and second-in-line, she’ll go through a similar process and eventually join the Council, become a diplomat, and/or rule as regent if/when Danny leaves the Ghost Zone. I’m gonna say all other afterlife’s and stuff are connected to the Zone and their respective leaders make up Phantom’s Court. (So basically he’s king and they are like the nobles). They all govern their own territories and Phantom handles any rouges or conflicts. When Ellie gets older she’ll move between realms on diplomatic missions to lighten some of Danny’s work. I haven’t decided what this means for anyone who is currently mortal and/or liminal. I might just have them live, fulfilling lives and pass away and move on to different afterlives. Or I might have them take places within the Phantom’s court or as advisors. And on the topic: Jazz, the Fenton parents, Sam, and Tucker are all fairly liminal, Jazz and the Dr.s Fenton a bit more than the other two. Everyone in Amity has a little bit of liminality, but not enough to affect their life spans or anything. Also, Vlad is still currently his usual, creepy, Frootloopy-self. But after screwing him over in this fic eventually, I want to have him arrested by the ghost police and spend several thousand years in ghost prison before he gets let out. Then he works on improving his relationships and post-redemption he’s going to be like that annoying, overbearing Uncle who tries to be cool and annoys you but ya don’t hate him. Another thing I wanted to go over is their obsessions. I wanna say the halfas all have dual obsessions bc it fits nicely with the half-and-half concept. Danny is protection and space. Ellie is freedom and family. Vlad is power and love. If I include Dark Danny he’ll be power and destruction and a reformed version would have control and safety.

As for his rouge gallery? Danny is able to help them find healthier outlets for their obsessions so they've become less of an issue. Now they kind of just act like Danny's annoying friends and/or extended family. The ones who were straight-up evil though are on indefinite time out in ghost prison though (e.g. Spectra and Freakshow). The gang still comes to visit him and Ellie from time to time though and he regularly sees them when he goes back to the realms for prince duties and stuff.

What’s up with Amity?

So after he turns 18, Danny decides to tell his parents about being Phantom. He’s legally an adult now and has been working toward getting emancipated anyways so he might as well. They took it like how I imagine slightly homophobic parents would react to learning their child was lgbt (side note: the Fentons are pro-lgbt. When Danny told them he was bi Jack said “Me too son!”, happy to have something to bond over). He tells them about the portal and becoming Phantom. They believe him and they are devastated and guilty.

In the next few weeks, they get into a couple arguments over them wanting to “fix” his ghost half. He blows up and tells them that by doing that they’d end up killing him and that Phantom is a part of who he is and they’ll just have to accept that. That night Danny leaves and with help from Sam stays in an apartment with Jazz near her college. He takes a two-year gap to get a handle of Infinite Realms and GIW stuff, plus doing a few small jobs to save up some money. Within that time the GIW gets taken down and the Fentons reach out bc their love for their children is stronger than their dislike of ghosts. Their relationship is still strained but getting better.

Dani also gets de-aged during that time and Danny decides to take care of her (partly for healing purposes and partly cause he wants to). His friends help forge documentation for her and he fights with Vlad over custody but ultimately wins and makes him pay child support. He’s saved up enough money and with a little help from Sam and Vlad gets an apartment in Gotham. He got a scholarship and is doing mostly online classes at Gotham University. He’s currently working part-time (I have not decided as what but I’m leaning toward mechanic). Vlad paid to have him enroll Ellie in Gotham Academy so she wouldn’t have to go to public school and Danny allowed it since it’d get her a better education. Ellie is going to start first grade in about 3 months since they moved to Gotham in June. (Just for reference, Damian is currently 12 and in seventh grade since I've decided not to move him up.)

Everyone in Amity knows about the discord between the Fenton's before Danny leaves. They don't necessarily know about Phantom though. Everyone kind of assumes Danny came out, fought with his parents then left. When some of them find out about Ellie another rumor circulates she was the topic of the fight. Regardless, the Fenton drama is kinda an open secret and most people sympathize with Danny. Whenever he comes back to town to visit a lot of people are really nice to him and Ellie, which he thought was weird until he learned what people thought was going on. Now he just takes advantage of their misunderstandings.

What's up with the GIW?

The GIW manages to get a hold of Ellie after Danny leaves Amity. When Vlad and Danny +Team Phantom find out they team up to rescue her. Danny also recruits people that he's met during his time away. For this mission, he recruits Constantine and Captain Marvel/Shazam. When the Fentons find out they want in too, almost as an apology gesture. They no longer want to try and "fix" Danny and are okay with Ellie's existence. They view her like family and want to help out. A lot of their views are still prejudiced but they're getting better, however, that's not the only thing straining their relationship. This is a step in the right direction though.

So they go in and infiltrate first in order to get Ellie out. Then they destroy the facilities behind them as they leave. Constantine and Captain Marvel then go back to the JL to work on getting to Anti-Ecto Acts repealed, something that is still in progress during the beginning of this fic. That's why they are gonna lay low while they’re in Gotham. The GIW attempted to experiment on Ellie while they had her but the containment unit they used destabilized her ectoplasm. She retains all her memory but is mentally and physically de-aged. Frostbite assesses her and says she needs to get extra ecto and to be near another halfa aura to help develop and stabilize her own systems. That leads to Vlad and Danny fighting over custody before Danny inevitably beats Vlad into the ground and walks away with custody and child support.

I think a full reveal about identities will happen after Danny gets confirmation that his existence is no longer illegal. It'll probably be after Jason asks him out but before he accepts because he wants Jason to know what he's getting into. Jason will probably be shocked but accept it relatively quickly. I haven't decided yet if I want him to live a mortal life with them and then die (either to move on or become a full ghost) or if I want him to be basically immortal like them and give him a position in the court.

~~~~ Find chapter one here

Chapter 2 now here

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Brothers in Arms

by vrt77 In an attempt to get Tim and Damian to finally get along like the brothers they are, Dick pairs them up on patrol indefinitely. Tim and Damian are outraged...at least, that's what they want everyone to think. Words: 1098, Chapters: 1/5, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Batman: The Animated Series, Batman and Robin (Comics), Batman: Wayne Family Adventures (Webcomic), Robin: Son of Batman (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Tim Drake (DCU), Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Ra's al Ghul Relationships: Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne Additional Tags: not quite crack, Like it's a serious fic, But it's kind of humorous, And camp, Dick just wants his brothers to get along, Tim and Damian are chaos gremlins, Family, Family Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brotherly Bonding, Scheming, Gen Z vs Gen Alpha, Except they're not fighting, They're working together to troll their family via https://ift.tt/4K1RhVH

[dramatic-squirrel]

Daminette December 2022 Day 1- Ice

@maribat-calendar-events (forgot the tag yesterday)

The quiet murmur of people filled the banquet hall, as business leaders and political figures mingled. The venue was beautiful if a bit dull, with a monochrome color scheme it was classy but not very exciting to look at. What really caught people's attention was the intricately carved ice sculpture in the middle of the room.

Six feet tall, the crystal ice depicted a peacock in full plumage. Each feather was meticulously carved in detail and the whole piece was lit up with purple, blue and green lights. Everyone's eyes were drawn to the sculpture. Well… most people's eyes.

“26…27…28…” In one corner of the room, the Wayne children, both honorary and adopted, gathered and watched as Stephanie tossed mini quiches into Jason’s mouth. The longest streak they had going was 40 before Tim accidentally walked into the middle of it and got hit by a tiny meatball.

Some of the Wayne kids were more into it than others. “This is absurd. We’ve been watching this for an hour.” To no one’s surprise, Damian was the first to complain. “At this point we may as well just talk to those capitalist scum and coerce their money from them.”

“31…32…” 

“I’m going to stop you right there Babybird. Marinette?” Marinette took a hold of Damian’s hand both calming him down slightly and preventing him from leaving and starting trouble. “Thanks. The one goal we have been given tonight is to cause as little a commotion as possible. If you go and talk to those people, you’re going to end up stabbing one of them. I love you Damian, but no.”

“Can we at least do something else then? Watching Todd eat is disgusting.”

“Well what do you suggest?”

“Oh! I know! Let’s play ‘Would you rather’” Marinette suggested excitedly. Domain nodded his head in agreement. 

“Ok, let’s do that. I’ll start.” Dick thought for a moment “Would you rather… fight condiment king or cluemaster?”

“That’s an easy one. Cluemaster.” Damian looked over at Marinette and raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Cluemaster? Seriously? I understand that he’s not a particularly difficult opponent but, would you honestly choose the tougher of the two opponents?”

“Look, I’ve tried to get mustard stains out of clothing before. It’s not worth the trouble. And do you think I’m going to be scared of some guy who asks trivia questions? Next to riddles, trivia questions are my forte.” 

Looking up from his phone, Tim glared at Dick. “Nice going. You started a lover’s quarrel in one sentence.” Dick just rubbed his temple to get rid of his headache.

“Ok but, it will take far more time to take down Cluemaster. If I have to fight either of those embarrassments then I want to make it go by as quickly as possible.” 

“I can’t believe,” Marinette looked at him with utter betrayal on her face. “The next time you fight Condiment King, you can get the stains out yourself. Duke, you're with me on this right?” 

Duke pondered the question for a moment before nodding his head. “Yeah. Honestly, if I don’t have to look at Condiment King then I won’t.” He shuddered a bit. “It’s a horror show.” Marinette pumped her fist in victory. At least before Cass stepped closer to Damian, proving where her loyalties lied.

“Et tu, Cass?” Stephanie looked over from where she was still throwing food at Jason. She swiftly abandoned the hor d'oeuvres  and raced to where Marinette was standing. “I’m with Paris over here. I’ll take any chance to beat the living tar out of Cluemaster.”

Damian clicker his tongue. “You're biased, your opinion doesn’t count.”

“It definitely counts, you little Gremlin. I dare you to say that to my face.”

“Are you deaf, Brown? I just said it to your face.”

Before Stephanie could rush over, Dick got in between the two groups. “Ok, settle down. It’s a hypothetical question. No need to get so heated up about it. How about we move on.” They all looked at each other and nodded in silence to leave things alone for now. “Ok…” He paused for a moment, taking suspicious glances at everyone, not believing their easy acceptance. “Who wants to ask the next question?”

Before anyone else could speak up, Jason decided it was time for a bit of chaos at this Wayne gala. “Who would you rather have on your side, Wonder Woman or Superman?” And just like that, the lines were drawn, and there was no going back. Tables were set up dividing the opposing camps.

And it wasn’t long before shots were taken. When they were later questioned by Bruce who threw the first the first creampuff, no one could remember, but from there it turned into a full blown food fight that Dick was helpless to stop. When a stray mini cheesecake hit another patron, all chaos broke loose, as people tried to shuffle away from the war happening in the corner. But people couldn’t move fast enough. Soon, guests were bumping into each other, trying to prevent the deserts from ruining their clothes valued at thousands of dollars. 

And that was when tragedy struck. As a socialite desperately tried to flee, she bumped into a big named politician. The momentum of the push caused him to stagger, and unable to stop, he crashed into the ice sculpture at the center of the banquet hall. With the sudden deafening shattering of the ice, silence consumed the room.

A few moments later, Bruce walked into the hall from the balcony and abruptly stopped. The event that was once simple and elegant now had food stains on the wall, ice melting all of the floor and his family was there in the corner, looking straight at him, no guilt in their eyes. Feeling the headache build in the back of his head, Bruce took out his phone and called the PR representative to try and salvage the situation.

[whereflowersbloom]

Hypermarket adventure

When Tim Drake woke up that morning he had no idea he would have to buy a new coffee maker because the one they had was unusually broken. Damian Wayne. A faint headache pounding behind his temples as Tim massaged them, exhaustion sinking deep in his bones, and wonders how long it's been since he had more than four hours of sleep. Damian was responsible for this, one of his secret schemes to make him stop consuming caffeine. Tim was sure it was his fault, so the broken coffee maker refused to give him the fluid of life and he had lost it...and maybe Tim destroyed it with vicious vengeance. In his defense, he had been up for more than twenty-four hours. Sleep later coffee first.

So naturally he announced to Alfred he would be making a quick trip to the store to get a new one, politely asked the British man if he required anything from the store. Alfred seemed to consider the offer for a solid minute before asking him if he could get some groceries and essentials on his way back home. Handing him a list. Before he walked out of the manor Dick volunteered affably to accompany him, convincing a grumpy Jason, who was comfortably sitting, reading a wrinkled newspaper, to tag along. Jason surprisingly agreed, with the condition he was the one driving. Alfred rapidly suggested to take the demon spawn with them, he could use some frest air. Now things could only go downhill from this point. This piqued Steph’s interest, who casually commented she had nothing better to do. Soon they were on their way to the closest hypermarket.

Dick was there to make sure Damian didn’t behead anyone and get enough boxes of cereal he could hide before Alfred looked at him with disappointed eyes. There’s nothing worse in this world than Alfred’s disappointed eyes. The old man claimed ‘It’s not a proper meal nor healthy if it contained high levels of sugar’, but the companies also tended to fill them with vitamins, calcium, iron and folic acid. Therefore it was a fortified food! It had everything he needed for a balanced meal in Dick’s opinion. The extra sugar was even good for him considering how many calories he burned.

“The sword stays in the car, Damian.” Dick commanded, taking away the blade from twelves earth-old before he sets a foot out of the automobile, which was responded by a ‘TT’.

“Did we really have to bring shortstack?” Jason complained, voice etched with irritation, index finger pointing at Damian.

“As if I would agree to lower my nutritional standards because you fools failed to purchase the provisions Pennyworth demanded which is why I have it in my power.” Damian logically explained, grinding his teeth and waving the list at Jason.

“Don’t stab anyone.” Dick ordered with authority.

“I make no promises, Grayson.” Damian muttered dryly crossing his arms over his chest.

Damian cannot comprehend why would Pennyworth think he was needed to carry out such a simple task, he supposed if his siblings lacked the basic function acquire the list of edibles Alfred gave them and simultaneously behave in public, then he could supervise them. He was already here with them. Nothing to do about it.

“Did anyone asked Cass if she needed anything?” Dick questioned them, clear blue eyes looking at them expectantly. Cass was probably still in her bedroom resting, after staying up with him analyzing some cases.

“Oh how thoutful of you. You weren’t that nice to me, not even after I died.” Jason commented, his voice dripping with sarcasm and bitterness.

“Jay, you gotta stop bringing it up.” Dick reasoned as he placed a hand upon Jason’s shoulder, offering a small apologetic smile.

For once, Damian was quiet, observing the older brothers bicker over such a insignificant matter. Stephanie stifled a snort at their immature antics. A muffled ‘crybaby’ escaped her mouth, but only Tim, standing next to her was able to hear it.

It took everything Tim had not to roll his eyes and simply walk away. Why was he here with these troublemakers? Right. Coffee. The thing she had to endure for a duo of black coffee.

“I texted Cass. She wants pop tarts.” Stephanie supplied, eye glued to the screen of her phone.

“If you get lost. I’m leaving you here, losers.” Jason threatened with narrowed eyes, a faint glow in his blue-green eyes. Five minutes after parking the car, the siblings marched inside the hypermarket. Tim sighed wearily, silent calculations running through his mind, how long it would take them to leave the store with the groceries. Dick promptly grabbed a shopping cart.

~~~

Jason Todd was ready to shoot Dick Grayson if only he had a gun between his hands. Why the fuck did he even agree to come with these lil shits? Clearly, he wasn’t in his right mind. He was doing this for Alfred and Jason could never say no to Alfred. It was an easy task: read the list of essentials Alfred wrote down, grab the items, deposit them inside the fucking cart and pay for them. Piece of cake. But here he was in the middle of dairy aisle, listening to Dick asking him all sort of stupid questions. His patience dangerously wearing thin.

“Why is milk five dollars a gallon?” Dick exclaimed with shock as he examined the dairy product’s label.

“Who cares? You’re rich, money shouldn’t be a problem, dickhead.” Jason replied annoyed, there goes ten minutes of his life, stuck in the dairy aisle with this enthusiastic fool. Where did Damian and Steph go? Dick had thrown several boxes of cereal inside the cart, including: Cheerios and Waffle crisps, the latter was Steph’s petition. Who in the bloody hell needed fifteen boxes of cereal? Wait a minute, is that coffee flakes? That one had to be Tim’s idea.

“How do you exactly milk an almond though?” Dick asked with furrowed Brows, concentrated on the product, as If he was trying to decipher a secret code.

The desperation and bewilderment in Dick’s voice made a Jason raise an eyebrow. He would kill for a quick smoke. Not like he was seriously considering smoking inside the store. He could wait a few more minutes.

“I’ll explain out to you when you finally become a functional adult.” Jason breathed. Around them, the store buzzed, bright lights shining above and people murmuring and talking, nobody had recognized them so far. Even Jason felt a twinge of irritation at being here, and he wanted to get this shopping trip over with so he could go home.

“Who wants bacon?” Stephanie came out of nowhere, asking with a juvenile glee in her eyes as she dumped ten packs of bacon. Damian wouldn’t be happy about this.

“Where is the gremlin? We should have put him inside the cart.” Jason tried to keep a calm voice, looking around for any sign of little D. Jason had a bad feeling about this, settling at the pit of his stomach. He let out a deep breath and decided it was the moment to have that cig. So two missing, Damian and Tim. There it was that nagging voice was a constant in the back of his mind, reminding him of his responsibility, look after adoptive relatives.

“Steph, make sure replacement didn’t fall asleep at the Kitchen appliances section.” Jason commanded. “Dick, it’s your turn to supervise the rascals.” Slowly making his way towards the alcohol section, he could use a drink right now. Now, find an unpacked corner where he can have a smoke.

“What?” Dick exclaimed, suddenly finding himself alone in the dairy section. Where did everyone go?

~~~

Dick was passing by the cereal aisle again, because you can never have enough cereal. Perhaps he should get more lucky charms? Cinnamon toast was a must. Nobody in this family understood the enjoyment of ingesting artificially colored cereal. He was about to grab another box of fruity pebbles, lost in the paradise of cocoa, cinnamon and colored cereals, when abruptly a feminine voice brought him back to earth. He turned to catch a glimpse, eyes focused on the petite woman: average height, brunette, mid-twenties, freckled-cheeks, small gray eyes widened in irritation. This looked like trouble. What did he do?

“Excuse me, sir. Is this kid your little brother? We caught him bothering other customers at the meat section.” The petite employee questioned him with raised eyebrows, hands on her hips. Dick blinked puzzled. What. He kept his eyes fixed on the woman.

“When I asked if he was here accompanied by an adult. He pointed a finger at you.” Dick spotted then Damian, standing next to the woman, lips pursed, arms folded against his chest, glancing away, fleetingly looking younger than he actually was. Like a small child who was severely reprimanded for inappropriate behavior. What the hell Damian...

“I merely reminded him the innocent chicken between his hands deserved a life free from torture and suffering. We have the moral responsibility to protect animals!” Damian spoke plainly as he corrected the woman who dared accuse him of harassment.

“Damian, sto-“ Richard chimed in when he was interrupted by Damian’s animals rights speech.

“Allowing an animal to suffer is unethical and cruel. It’s slaughter! You are causing them unnecessary distress. Their throats are slit mercilessly! All animals have the ability to suffer in the same way and to the same degree that humans do.” The young Wayne continued, grumpily making eye contact with the uninformed store employee. Blue eye flicked between the two, the brunette seemed to be about to explode, Damian’s body language tightened, there was a crackling in the air and Dick instantly knew it was not going to end well. Shit. He ruffled his hair nervously.

“Damian no.” He pleaded urgently. Beads of sweat running down his forehead and cheekbones.

“Sir, could you please take your younger brother? Customers are agitated and perturbed by his presence.” The employee politely asked him but Dick could tell she was utterly irked at this point. Dick nodded and draped an arm over his little brother’s shoulders. Yeah, he was definitely taking him far, far away from her. Praying Damian kept his mouth shut and didn’t screw up even more. Predictably, Damian didn’t leave it alone.

“Again, as I explained earlier. I was elaborating on the numerous health and environment benefits of adopting a vegetarian diet.” Damian corrected her with trembling lips, green eyes filled with anger. This woman didn’t comprehend the great importance of saving an innocent life. Tsk. Father said even if someone is being disrespectful or crude he should not sink to their level, but this lady was being rude.

“Aren’t you one of Bruce Wayne’s ward?” The woman spoke with narrowed gray eyes, taking a step closer to Richard, studying closely the features of the older man.

Oh fuck. Unfortunately, she recognized them. Dick held up both hands defensively.

“I am the blood s-“ Damian was about to clarify when Dick rapidly covered his mouth with a large hand. “We are leaving now, Damian. Thank you, lady. Have a nice day.” He muttered hurriedly before running off.

~~~

Finally, Tim was getting in line for the cashier, the precious coffee maker in his arms, he could make himself a decent cup of black coffee as soon as they got home. A satisfied smile almost curled on his lips when he recognized the familiar sound of his siblings yelling, if his ears didn’t fail him and they never did. Oh no. Tim held a stiff nervous expression as he slowly turned to face them. He quickly scanned the scene, eyes wide in alarm. Remain calm Tim. Stephanie being escorted by a security guard, clothes stained, next was Jason groaning at the guard that tried to touch his leather jacket, followed by an embarrassed Dick with flushed cheeks, lastly Damian being dragged against his will. “Let me go! I can walk out of this questionable establishment myself.” Damian protested with boiling anger, glaring daggers at the security guards. His sword was inside the car. Good. No opportunity to behead anyone and commit a crime. Jason and Stephanie were clearly pissed. Dick pressing his face against a wall, undoubtedly ashamed.

Tim momentarily contemplated leaving the store with the coffee maker, a few seconds later, he couldn’t find it in him to abandon them to their fate here. Sigh. With the heavy weigh of his burdens, Tim approached a female employee. “Excuse me, those are my siblings. Could you explain to me what exactly they did?”

“Sir, this young lady here organized a shopping cart race along with some children in the middle of the vegetable section.” The angry store employee began, detecting unfiltered rage in her tone, as she pointed a finger at the blonde teenager.

“I did nothing Jason wouldn’t have done.” Stephanie told him, briefly exchanging glances with Jason. Jason bit down on his lower lip to repress laughter, whispering an almost inaudible ‘amateur’. Stephanie shrugged it off as it was unimportant, instead of trying to come up with an excuse that contained any sense of logic.

“This man was deliberately smoking inside the store.” Tim studied Jason’s amused expression. Probably not the first time he was caught doing it. “I mean she isn’t wrong.” He pointed out calmly, Shrugging broad shoulders nonchalantly.

“I found the kid tormenting customers at the meat aisle, he fled with the man with cereal fixation.” Before Damian could utter a word in his defense. Dick shut his mouth. Richard’s eyes silently expressing a wordless ‘don’t ask’. Tim was way too exhausted to deal with this. His body shaking with small movements for a second, stay in control. No time to collapse, solutions not more problems.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you and the rest of your relative to leave the store. And please do not come back.”

Tim fluttered his dark cerulean eyes close, feeling a very sharp pain in his temples. A recurrent migraine coming, cursing lowly for not stopping at the pharmacy to get aspirins. How is that he is the only rational and almost-functional person in this family. Coffee, coffee, coffee was the only thing he could think about. Less than fifty minutes and the Wayne’s discovered a way to get themselves banned from a Hypermarket. Likely setting a new world record.

Looks like they wouldn’t have the chance to go grocery shopping as a family any time soon. Not like it was a brilliant idea to begin with. They would have groceries delivered next time.

Here @sofiii 👀👀👀👀🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

[pluckyredhead]

A Guide to the Super Sons, Part 1: Damian Wayne (Robin)

Y’all, I have lost weeks of my life to this Jon Kent/Damian Wayne obsession, and by God I’m taking some of you down with me. In the interests of tricking convincing some of my followers to get on board, I offer a three part series to give you the basics on these boys.

(Daredevil 101 fans, don’t worry - that series is still very much happening. I’m in it as long as Matt is, heaven help us all.)

Anyway! First up is Damian Wayne, a.k.a. Robin, son of Batman. This is Damian:

Aw, he’s so grumpy! *ruffles his hair, is immediately stabbed to death*

Biography:

Damian is the son of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul, the daughter of Ra’s al Ghul. If you’re not familiar with Ra’s, he is this drama llama, originally introduced in the 70s:

Ra’s is a criminal mastermind who wants to conquer the world and kill off most of humanity, sort of for environmentalist reasons but mostly because no one appreciates his facial hair enough. He is hundreds of years old, and keeps himself alive and, uh, virile via the use of mystical pools called Lazarus Pits. He has a few children but the original and most important was his daughter Talia. Since Talia couldn’t possibly be Ra’s heir and take over his League of Assassins due to her debilitating case of being a woman, Ra’s decided she should marry the only man worthy of being his successor: Batman.

Talia was on board. Bruce was less into the assassin-y bits, but totally up for this iconically hairy kiss:

Talia, that blouse is amazing.

Decades passed. Ra’s continued to scheme. Talia became more independent and fascinatingly amoral before abruptly going full-on Crazy Bitch Supervillain, because comics are horrible. And then, in 2006, Talia suddenly introduced Bruce to their son:

There’s my horrible little gremlin!

Canon is inconsistent about whether or not Damian’s conception was consensual (and unsurprisingly, the comics don’t handle the possibility that Bruce was raped very well, in that it’s never acknowledged as rape), but either way, he was incubated in a tank and genetically designed to be the perfect heir to both the Waynes and the al Ghuls. Upon his “birth,” he was trained by Talia and the League of Assassins to be a vicious killing machine.

Thus, when he meets Bruce, he is ten years old and the most arrogant, entitled, violent little monster imaginable. It is not the greatest meeting!

It’s important to note at this point that Damian would eventually become the fifth Robin. The previous Robins are, in order:

Dick Grayson, a.k.a. the one you’ve probably heard of or seen in a cartoon or movie. Former circus acrobat, delightful, thotty. Grew up to become Nightwing.

Jason Todd. Was murdered by the Joker, came back to life as a supervillain, chilled out and is now basically an antihero. Goes by Red Hood. Murderous, sarcastic, also thotty.

Tim Drake. Graduated to being Red Robin, but recently changed his codename to Drake, which is just his actual name, which is stupid so we’re ignoring it. Smart, neurotic, not thotty.

Stephanie Brown. THE BEST ONE!!! Originally Spoiler, then Robin, then died, then turned out not to be dead, then Batgirl. Then DC decided she had never counted as Robin because girls are illegal, so she’s back to being Spoiler. Spunky, determined, not thotty but someone should probably tell her that she likes girls and her boyfriend (Tim) doesn’t.

(Damian is too young for a thottiness call but he doesn’t really like other people very much so I’m making a prediction of Not Thotty.)

Damian does not understand why his father has three lesser Robins/adopted sons and promptly attempts to murder Tim. Bruce, faced with a challenging family situation, maturely deals with the problem by dying. (Sort of. It’s complicated.) Then Jason tries to murder Damian. What a fun family!

Dick takes on the mantle of Batman in the wake of Bruce’s (temporary) death and, seeing potential in this tiny murder gremlin, makes Damian his Robin. Damian IMMEDIATELY drops a “You’re not my real dad” because he knows his tropes:

(I’m sorry his face is so lumpy here. People really like Frank Quitely’s art and I cannot comprehend why.)

Unlike Bruce, Dick is actually a friendly person who is in touch with his emotions, and, with Alfred’s help, he manages to tame Damian into being...well, still a brat, but a brat with his heart in roughly the right place.

😭

Eventually Bruce comes back and Damian switches over to being his Robin instead of Dick’s. They struggle to relate to each other, especially since Damian, um, murders a couple of people on his behalf. I mean, they are both really bad dudes who are going to kill Bruce, but, you know. He’s still a 10 year old child doing murders. Because he loves his daddy! But still.

Eventually Talia has had enough of her disobedient son, so she takes one of her many backup clones of him and grows him into a horrifying baby-faced adult-bodied thing called the Heretic and sics him on Damian. Bruce goes to fight him and tells Damian to stay in the cave. Damian does not stay in the cave.

LOOK AT MY DEFIANT ARROGANT BABY, STAGGERING ON FULL OF ARROWS ALL BOROMIR-STYLE. Actually that’s really fucked up.

The Heretic kills Damian. Bruce spends like a year increasingly flipping his shit, especially after Damian’s body is stolen first by Ra’s al Ghul, then by a minion of Darkseid (evil god ruler of a dystopian planet). Bruce steals Damian back and also figures out how to resurrect him along the way.

I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING.

Having been given a new lease on life, Damian spends some time atoning for the cruel acts he committed before he became Robin, and then forms a new iteration of the Teen Titans:

(I love this lineup SO MUCH. Also please note a) GENDER PARITY and b) the only white person on this team is Crush, who is a space alien and thus not actually a white person except in the most literal sense.)

Damian is currently 13 years old. He stars in the Teen Titans book and of course frequently appears across the Batbooks, where right now he’s primarily mourning the dead of his (unofficially adoptive) grandfather, Alfred, for which he blames himself, because no trauma is too severe for DC to put Damian through. One time they removed his whole spine. (Also, Alfred will obviously be back eventually. He’s Alfred.)

Personality:

Damian was raised to believe he would conquer the earth - his name means “to tame" and he knows it - and thus while he no longer plans to do so, he’s still incredibly arrogant, entitled, and imperious. He’s also incredibly intelligent and skilled and knows it, which means that a) he’s super rude and snobby about it all the time and b) he often fucks up because he assumes that if he’s doing something, it must be the intelligent thing to do simply because he is intelligent. (He gets that last part from his dad.)

Damian is extremely proud of both of his lineages, especially the Wayne side, and intensely protective of the Batman and Robin legacies. He is fiercely loyal to his father’s side of the family and is slowly, painfully learning to forgive his past enemies and himself. He inclines towards ruthlessness 9 out of 10 times, but that 10th time he’ll break your heart with a sudden moment of compassion.

He loves animals and has a menagerie of pets in the Batcave that includes Titus the dog, Alfred the cat (yes, named after the butler), and Bat-Cow the, um, cow.

There’s also Goliath, his giant bat dragon. Think Appa but with a much darker and more upsetting backstory:

Relationships:

Bruce: Damian utterly adores and hero-worships his father, even if he spends much of his time disobeying orders and sassing him. He clearly thinks Bruce could move mountains if he tried. It’s adorable and heartbreaking.

Talia: Damian spent much of his existence utterly rejecting Talia, but to be fair, she was utterly rejectable. Recent comics have blessedly retconned her to back to her interestingly amoral personality and made it clear that she does in fact truly love Damian, which means he’s in the much more complicated position of having to figure out how he feels about her. He’s not quite there yet.

Ra’s al Ghul: Not a fan. Outwardly he’s very coldly dismissive of Ra’s, but secretly I think he’s pretty scared of him, and of getting pulled back into that world. (Also one time Ra’s creepily attempted to steal Damian’s body and wear it like a people suit, so, uh, not his favorite grandpa!)

Alfred: One of the very few people he could be emotionally vulnerable with (sometimes). They love(d) each other dearly.

Dick: One of the other very few people he can be emotionally vulnerable with. They’ve got that “oldest and youngest sibling in a big family who are far apart enough in age that they don’t usually fight and aren’t threatened by each other” vibe.

Jason and Tim: Bickers with them both constantly (as Jason and Tim do with each other) but hasn’t tried to murder either of them in years. Bruce is very proud.

Barbara, Cass, and Steph: Damian tends to scoff at the assorted Batgirls but begrudgingly kinda likes them.

Maya Ducard: Damian has exactly three (3) friends, so Maya is in elite company. Her father was an assassin who is also incidentally one of the people Damian murdered to protect Bruce (whoops). Maya came after him to avenge her father’s death but they wound up befriending each other instead. It’s a very intense friendship with occasional prepubescent almost-romantic vibes but they also refer to each other as honorary brother and sister so who knows.

Colin Wilkes: Friend #2! He’s an orphan who can turn into a big smashy guy, Hulk-style. They’re bros.

The Titans: He is not particularly close with most of his teammates, but definitely shares a wavelength with Red Arrow, who is also the daughter of an assassin (noticing a theme here?). He might have a crush on her, but he also definitely kind of has a thing with Djinn, a 4,000-year-old genie who looks like a 13-year-old girl...but Djinn also kind of has a thing with Crush, the teenage alien biker chick. Teen Titans is currently doing a really good job of “all of these teenagers are spending way too much time together and no one has figured out their sexualities yet and they all have crushes on each other and it’s very complicated and sweaty.”

...And of course, Friend #3, Jon Kent. But we’ll get to him in Part 2!

[hussyknee]

Me introducing the Batfamily: "This is Dick Grayson—Robin the first, later Nightwing, Renegade, Nightwing, Agent 37??, Nightwing. My golden child, heart of the DC universe. Poster child for Eldest Daughter Syndrome, after an adolescence spent trying to live up to the exacting expectations of an emotionally constipated parental figure while being made responsible for both his emotional health and safety along with everyone else's. Veers between an indefatigable sense of humour buoyed by terrible puns, and high functioning depression. He is the big brother everyone idolizes, a hypercompetent and responsible human being who looks out for everyone except himself, a perfect balance of Superman's light and hope and Batman's dark brooding (although the scales keep tipping this way and that tbh). The Batfamily's Golden Boy's career has been marred only by his dire sense of fashion throughout his young adulthood (currently rocking the sexiest superhero outfit will never erase the scars of green Robin panties and the Discowing mullet), emotional impermanence in his relationships, grossly overestimating his own capacity to do everything at once, and attempting to live on cereal, as well as every so often absolutely blowing his lid and fulfilling his asshole quota all at once. The greatest acrobat in the world, he is uniquely characterized by 1) his on-and-off relationship with assorted redheads and gravity, 2) everyone and their mother being compelled to remark on how pretty he is even in a mask, and 3) being the owner of the Damn Fine, the world's finest posterior (they took a poll).

"This is Jason Todd—Robin II, later Red Hood. A brick shithouse of stabby shooty snark that rattles the fourth wall, he is a proponent of murder and blowing shit up in the name of social justice. Both his morals and aesthetic combines utilitarianism with being a melodramatic asshole (distinctive red full face helmet with a domino mask underneath, combat boots, leather jacket of manpain). Has a gun fetish due to his unhealthy obsession with making the pathologically gunphobic Batman eat every last bit of dick, but is also pro-gun control (he controls all the guns).

Driven away from his sidekick career at the age of fifteen by Bruce's paranoia that he may have killed a repeat offender rapist, he was then betrayed by his birth mother to the Joker who beat him with a crowbar and blew him up. Later was resurrected via cosmic hissy fit but had to dig his way out of his own grave and wandered the streets brain-damaged until Batman's walking Oriental fetish Talia Al Ghul, daughter of the (sort of) immortal Ra's Al Ghul, found him. She dunked him in the life-rejuvenating Lazarus Pit, which healed his faculties but left him with a case of PTSD from hell. Came back to Gotham to try and get his Bat-Dad to avenge him via reverse Hamlet scheme featuring a (now iconic) bag of decapitated mobster heads, but no dice. The 2011 reboot of the DC universe downgraded his reaction to this from "homicidal" to "salty".

He used to be a mop-headed little gremlin but Talia presumably fed him some Lazarus GMO beef along with the mad assassin skills because he became a bruiser almost taller than Bruce by the time he returned to Gotham. He's also the only reason why the whole fandom knows what a piebald streak is (trauma, but make it fashion) and his thunder thighs are legend. Fandom headcanons him as the world's angriest self-taught student of feminist and classical literature who will as likely kneecap you for maligning Jane Austen as for selling drugs to children.

(We reject the spurious allegations by Daniel, Morrison et al that he is remotely capable of child murder or of wearing a dildo helmet. He is guilty of many things but not being cringe. Mfer rocked a pimp cane with combat boots, for Christ's sake, why would he shoot kids or wear a suppository on his head.)

"This is Tim Drake, Robin the third, later Red Robin (not the fast food chain). He used to be the world's most well-adjusted latch-key kid, if you discount his stalking tendencies, but then his Mom died, his Dad died, his best boyfriends both died, his stepmom died, his city got nuked, his surrogate big brother Dick nearly died, his surrogate sister Cassandra "went crazy" and his adoptive Dad also (ostensibly) died. This happened nearly all within his sixteenth year of life, which gave rise to the meme "Tim Drake—Even His Houseplants Die". And then his aforementioned adored big brother fired him from being his sidekick in an epic dick move (pun intended for his crimes). As consequence, Timmy went from an adorable sunshiny kid who made friends with everyone to a brooding and manipulative asshole (affectionate), in the mold of Batman but with more dead parents.

The love child of a competence kink and a Bishounen, Tim's fashion sense veers between hobo I.T guy and sharp enough to kill you (except for that time with alternate universe Jason's cast-offs where he looked like knock-off Doctor Mid-Nite. Don't ask). The techie of the bunch, his investigative skills rival those of Batman's and served as the youngest CEO of Wayne Tech for a spell without graduating high school. Functions as some kind of caffeine vampire, hasn't slept in years, humanity too dependent on him to plan for every exigency. Has probably written a computer programme to remind him how to human. Very close to his now-adoptive sister Cassandra Cain and his now-legal brother Dick, whom he idolizes. Has a distrustful relationship with Jason whom he occasionally allies with, and a legendary rivalry with Damian Wayne (Bats's only biological whelp), who might be a prepubescent but also a hundred pounds of laser-focused murder grudge in a ten pound bag.

The only one of Bruce's adopted children to take his name (which again made no sense but Tim Drake-Wayne is a GQ motherfucker so fandom eventually rolled with it) Life challenges include subtextually being in love with his best friend Superboy while DC editorial desperately tries to make him straight¹, and fending off Ra's Al Ghul's creepy second-hand sexual fixation on him. Or on his genetic material. Who knows with that guy.

"This is Cassandra Cain, the third Batgirl and later Black Bat. Originator of the meme "looks like a cinnamon roll, is actually a cinnamon roll but will also kill you" except not because she has a no-kill rule more iron-clad than Batman's. Child of two of the DCU's most fucked up assassins, Cass was an experimental human murder weapon and not taught to speak but rather "read" body language. Ran away from her asshole Dad David Cain after her first and only kill at the age of eight traumatized the shit out of her. Wandered the world for years being a lethal cutie until she was taken under the wing of Barbara Gordon a.k.a Oracle. She had very limited ability to communicate with the world until a metahuman rearranged her neuroplasty to make her understand words, and accidentally precipitated a cascade of complications including baby's second existential crisis.

She is like a daughter and little sister to Barbara so it made little sense as to why Bruce was the one to adopt her, but she won his love and trust by proving it's his mission she idolizes more than anything. Arguably Bruce's favourite, being the only child who does not expect him to do any emotional labour other than emitting his brand of stoic, non-verbal Bat approval. Can easily kick his ass, your ass, everyone else's ass, her own ass. She'd be objectively terrifying if she wasn't possibly the most compassionate of them all, and also generally a cheeky, cocky little shit. Best friends include adoptive brother Tim Drake and Stephanie Brown.

(Yes, most of the tropes associated with Cass are kinda racist, considering she's half Asian.)

"My golden daughter Stephanie Brown, The Spoiler, Robin IV and Batgirl IV². Started her career by hitting Tim Drake in the face with a brick and becoming his most convincing heterosexual love interest to date. Joined the superhero game just to get revenge her abusive C List supervillain father, Cluemaster, and stayed in the game first because Batman kept telling her to get lost, and then later because she loved kicking ass in a homemade spandex outfit (the colour's EGGPLANT motherfucker).

This spunky little blonde weathered an abusive father, her mother's drug addiction, childhood emotional neglect, poverty, a teenage pregnancy, being a relationship with Tim Drake, Batman using her as a pawn to get Tim back by making her Robin, being fired from being Robin by Batman, accidentally starting a gang war in a bid to "prove" herself to Batman, almost dying after hours of grossly sexualized torture with a power drill, having her doctor fake her passing to keep her out of Batman's clutches (DR. LESLIE DEFENCE SQUAD FOREVER), and having writer Bill Willingham insist she was "never really Robin". She is the personification of hope and humour and sheer dogged perversity in a world that wanted her gone. Came back from the dead to bitchslap both her ex and Batman and became Batgirl under Oracle's watchful and (kind of) responsible mentorship.

Other notable relationships include Cass Cain her girlfriend best friend with whom she bonded over asshole Dads ("my Dad locked me in a closet when I was bad. What did your Dad do?" "Shot me." "LMAO I can't beat you at anything") and Damian Wayne, who calls her Fatgirl because he is ten and doesn't know how to deal with his crush. Other than Babs, she is possibly the only member in this fucked up family with a sense of perspective.

"This is my little murder kitten Damian Al Ghul Wayne, Robin V. The fact that he shares a name with the Anti-Christ was no accident because he was introduced as such. Bruce Wayne and Talia Al Ghul's only biological issue via test tube (we refuse to acknowledge his rapey Grant Morrison origins), the kid was Ra's eugenics wet dream designed as a vessel into which he could transfer his own consciousness in order to escape the end of his own body's Lazarus Pit warranty period. Talia decided to fuck that noise and sent the child to live with his Dad, whereupon he immediately tried to kill everybody else to claim his birthright because that's how ninja assassin cults and the Ottoman empire roll.

When Bruce temporarily died and Dick temporarily assumed the Bat mantle, he was also landed with a tiny ninja assassin brother with the social skills of a wet cat. So Dick gave him the Robin job (throwing his other brother under the bus) and after a rocky start, made great headway in making the child behave in some approximation of a human being.

Damian is adorably territorial of his big brother but absolutely hates Tim, apparently just on priciple. Dami dresses and behaves like the snotty little princeling he was raised as, and talks like a judgemental Cambridge dictionary, but is really a lonely child at heart who relates to animals better than humans. He has since collected a small menagerie which includes a rooster, Bat-Cow, Alfred the Cat, Titus the Great Dane and the enormous mythical beast Goliath who he saved when he was a cub that looked like a small Pokémon. Also made friends with a disabled street child named Colin Wilkes, a very Catholic cinnamon roll superhero fanboy who hulks out into a behemoth hero named Abuse. Other notable friendships include Stephanie Brown and Jon Kent, son of Superman.

"This is Barbara Gordon. She is the only Batkid to have graduated completely out of Bruce's sidekick programme and subsequently his bullshit. The first Batgirl is closest to Bruce in age and the beloved daughter of Batman's best friend, Commissioner Jim Gordon, she is more like a sister than a daughter to him. Barbara donned the Batgirl costume herself when she was seventeen after being turned down by the police academy for Reasons, and impressed Batman into mentoring her. She and Dick had a long running partnership and flirtation (her being much older than him) that very eventually matured into a romance in adulthood (that ended up such an unqualified storytelling clusterfuck that DC editorial swept the whole thing under the Rug Of Subtext until the reboot).

She had already decided to retire as Batgirl when the Joker shot her through the spine, paralyzing her for life. After a period of depression, she overcame this limitation with the help of a high-tech wheelchair, martial arts tutelage with Richard Dragon that accomodated her disability, and using her formidable intelligence to become Oracle, the communications mainframe of the JLA and international information broker (don't touch her wheelchair, bitch). She recruited Dinah Lance the Black Canary to found the Birds of Prey and later a whole slew of other lady superheroes, although it was Dinah who became her best friend (and soulmate).

Despite being a manipulative mastermind, her ruthless pragmatism and dark past, she avoids falling into the self-obsession and darkness that claims Bruce and his boys by leaning on her emotional support network, not having time for male nonsense and general dedication to acting like a human being.

"Alfred Pennyworth is effectively Bruce's father and grandfather to the batchildren although he is rarely directly acknowledged as such because idk classism and Bruce's manpain. He is the stereotypical stoic English butler who improbably gained custody of his employer's young son and enabled his unhealthy obsession with his parents murder because he was trapped between being a guardian and technically being on his charge's payroll (idk how any of this works, why didn't they just keep Uncle Phillip). He apparently used to work in Her Majesty's Secret Service, MI6 and Shakespearean theater before coming to America to become a butler, of all things. This worked to his advantage when Bruce decided to take up vigilanteism and also adopt a small army of children who would follow his lifestyle of beating the crap out of all their problems instead of going to therapy.

To Alfred's credit, he wanted more for his kids than this but he is only the butler and no one listens to him despite getting knocked out every time a supervillain breaks into the Batcave. He is a fan favourite³ and seen as the "Mom" of the batfamily but I have always had reservations about him because YOU COULD HAVE MADE THIS KID GO TO THERAPY BEFORE HE BECAME FIXATED ON BATS ALFRED. BUT YOU DID NOT. WHY.

"And finally we have Bruce Wayne, who everyone already knows about, having had 8372672 movies made about him by now. He's that bad boy I fell in love with when I was young and easily impressed by broody broken men before realizing he was kind of an asshole but then falling in love with his kids too much to ever leave. Bruce is at both his best and his worst when he is called to be a father to his children, perpetually torn between his love for them, his obsession with his mission and his own issues about supplanting their own biological parents.

"Does that answer your question?"

Fast food cashier: *eyes glazed* "So...you do want fries with that?"

1. This post was written before DC made Tim bisexual. But made him in love with Bernard instead. Further proof that they need to be killed with hammers.

2. note to nerds: Helena Bertinelli was Batgirl III during No Man's Land.

3. This is why DC killed him a short while after this post was written. Still has not been resurrected. Because they despise their readership and want us to suffer.

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Brothers in Arms

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/4K1RhVH by vrt77 In an attempt to get Tim and Damian to finally get along like the brothers they are, Dick pairs them up on patrol indefinitely. Tim and Damian are outraged...at least, that's what they want everyone to think. Words: 1098, Chapters: 1/5, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Batman: The Animated Series, Batman and Robin (Comics), Batman: Wayne Family Adventures (Webcomic), Robin: Son of Batman (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Tim Drake (DCU), Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Ra's al Ghul Relationships: Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne Additional Tags: not quite crack, Like it's a serious fic, But it's kind of humorous, And camp, Dick just wants his brothers to get along, Tim and Damian are chaos gremlins, Family, Family Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brotherly Bonding, Scheming, Gen Z vs Gen Alpha, Except they're not fighting, They're working together to troll their family read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/4K1RhVH